How to overcome the anxiety of leaving home for college?
I’m leaving for college in about a month and a half and the anxiety is rather overwhelming. I’ve never left my parents for long periods of time in my life, and the thought of seeing them only 4 times a year is just depressing, even though the school is around 6 hr drive from home. I keep imagining the moment when we wave goodbye to each other on move-in day, and my mom starts tearing up. (I’m tearing up right now as I write this.) Is there anyway to overcome this anxiety?
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Remember that thousands of people (probably a lot of them not as smart and independent as you) do this every year. The separation will be emotional, but everyone else in your residence will be feeling the same.
Most colleges have support in place for people who are feeling overwhelmed or unhappy – take care of yourself, and never be afraid to ask for help.
Remember that it’s also really exciting! You’re going to make friends and study something you love. You’re going to learn a lot about yourself. You’ll miss your parents sometimes, but I promise you’ll have a lot of other stuff to think about, and I’m willing to bet that you’ll have a great time.
thik about it like tis, u have a fresh start,
think about the good things
This is very normal for you and your parents. If you didnt feel this way I would begin to wonder. This though is just the 1st step into adulthood and the biggest step for you in big decision making in everthing you do. Just think, you will only be a phone call away and just a small drive away. Some kids usually are 3 states away……and feel this way. Take this as a learning expierence, make new friends,get a great education, get exposure. Join clubs will in college. Before you know it half a school year will have gone by and it will be time to go and see your parents. Shoot… when you come home they probably would be having a 2nd honeymoon ( he! he !) something us kids dont want to think about our parents doing.yuk!
Good luck in school and dont worry you will be fine.
I can only answer from experience. Coming from a small country area, and moving to a big new city was a huge change for me. For the first 3 months I went from being a big fish in a small pond to a small fish ina big pond.
It was overwhelming, and I am typically a confident male (now 36, graduated, got a great career and love it).
I’d say these things…
1. Try and go to where you will be going to college for a couple of weekends if you can before you go there. Maybe take a friend or relative your own age so you can orientate yourself with respect to “being out on your own”. It will also help that you have some local knowledge to begin with, so you are not totally overwhelmed with the newness of everything!
2. There is heaps to take in, and it always seems like everyone else is managing 10 times better than you. Take the time to cultivate friends, and maintain a healthy social life as well as keeping up with your studies. As an engineering student, our schedule was full of both study and beer, but in the early days I didn’t keep up with either and felt the stress.
3. Typically the friends you make at college/university are the ones you carry through life. They are the ones who are most formative in your ‘adult’ stage.
4. Take the opportunity to engage in a new pursuit. You will never be so able to make so many choices with the time, flexibility and variety (as well as relative cheapness) available.
5. Anxiety, you either control it or it controls you. Make it your friend, recognise it for what it is…a healthy adrenaline reaction to an uncertain situation. Try not to make the ‘parting’ such a huge insurmountable object. Initially, I would not hesitate to say that you should stretch the wings before you jump out of the nest. Make a definite date when your folks can come and see you or you can go see them. Even better, make a weekend of it where you can take some new friends out to see where you come from. Remember, it’s all new to everyone else too. You take some home, and soon they’ll be taking you off for a weekend.
6. Maybe examine whether you would not be better off deferring for a year until you feel more emotionally independent? Get a job with some exposure to the field of study you intend to undertake, and gain some independence and confidence for a year before college. I wish I had done this!!
7. Best of luck, follow your heart. Be proud that you have a relationship with your folks that you cherish. Imagine how it’s going to feel for them when their fledgling flies :)
I survived…and so did nearly everyone else I went to college with. The only ones that didn’t were the ones that liked drugs or beer too much…remember, everything in moderation….and jeez I realise that I’ve turned into my dad :)